AUG. 3, 05

Hey everyone! Well things are going good. I had therapy today and it went great. They said I was doing good but the only thing I really need to work on is reconizing when someone is speaking in the background. For example if I'm working at a table and concentrating on my work...I need to be able to tell when someone starts talking to me with out calling out my name to get my attention. Deos that make sense? So now when I'm working people are going to "pop in" and say something to me when I'm working and I have to be able to respond back to them. So we'll see how that goes this week. Wish me luck!
Anyways, a few weeks ago I went to go pick up my brother from camp and I forgot my batteries at home. That was the first time I had to go "deaf". I was quite angry at myself but then later on I learned that I can put my brother's batteries on. And it works! I'm not sure if I told you this or not but ,oh well! But before that, on the way home I started to write a poem. There was nothing else to do - haha. I couldn't talk, listen to the music or anything. All I could do was sit there, so anyways, I decided to share the poem with you. So here it is...

My Worst Fear…
July 7, 2005

I’m standing there
As the cold from my feet
Shiver up my body.
Feeling alone, and scared.
I watch the world go by
Yet I’m still there,
Hopeless and not sure
What to do or where to go.
A man taps on my shoulder,
And begins to speak but
All I can “hear” are
His lips moving,
Not a sound,
Not even a whisper.
I try to explain that
I’m deaf but
He doesn’t understand.
As he continues to talk
I feel more alone,
And depressed
I stare at his mouth
Trying to read what he’s
Saying but it doesn’t
Seem to help.
More people come and
Still they continue to talk.
No one understands,
No one cares,
They just go on with their life.
Now that’s my worst fear!

I don't know if anyone feels the same about this poem. But after the ride home I began to realise how thankful I am for the new technology we have today! Without this implant I wouldn't be able to talk to my friends, listen to my music - which is by the way EVERYTHING to me, haha - I wouldn't be able to baby-sitt, or talk to my long distance family on the phone. I wouldn't be able to hear anything!!! Now what kind of life is that?? So for all of you new implant users..... don't give up! If you do....just think about the life you'll end up with.
So that's my "pep talk", haha. Well I better go. I'll write later and tell you how this week goes. Until then...